I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart, and a gorgeous Southern belle. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only best friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one who can tolerate me. And what makes this all worse is that I live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

Here it is.

Oh boy oh boy, I'm trying out Eversion! Here's a little log:

6:16 PM
"SHINY HAPPY GAME ENGINE" D'awww. This game isn't nearly as horrifying as people make it out to be!

6:18 PM
D'awww...this is so adorable.

6:21 PM
Oh, whoops! I died! Aw, but it lets me come right back!

6:23 PM
Wait, what the hell is with the clouds? This game is starting to become more frustrating than scary.

6:30 PM
Ah...just everted...those goombas look a bit zombie like...

6:31 PM
I, uh...*ahem*...ah, this...this is...interesting, to say the least.

6:36 PM
AW! Everything's all cute and happy again! ^_^

6:39 PM
How do I get past these trees? I tried everting...

6:40 PM
Holy hell.

6:43 PM
This is getting a bit difficult.

6:47 PM
Oh dear...these trees need watering...those goombas look sad...

6:48 PM
Goombas? Why aren't you moving? Are you sleeping? Please be sleeping, goombas...

6:50 PM
These clouds look smoggy...

6:52 PM
Will I die if I touch a sleeping goomba?

6:52 PM
Yes, yes I will...

6:53 PM
It seems the creator forgot to fill up a bit of the map...

6:55 PM
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD RUN RUN NO DON'T DROWN RUN RUN OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

6:56 PM
AGH NO NO NO NO

6:57 PM
There is no God. There is no God. There is no God. There is no God. There is no God.

7:00 PM
The smoke...it won't fucking stop...

7:10 PM
World Clear...no more smoke...World Clear...World Clear...no more smoke...World Clear...World Clear...no more smoke...World Clear...

7:12 PM
THE HAPPY ADORABLENESS IS A THIN ILLUSION. YOU CANNOT FOOL ME AGAIN.

7:13 PM
AGH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK THE HAND THE GODDAMN HAND

7:16 PM
The goombas woke up!

7:16 PM
*sob sob* AAAAAAAAAGGGH

7:19 PM
THE HAND THE HAND IT'S GOING TO FUCKING KILL MY SORRY PANSY ASS

7:32 PM
I OUTSMARTED THE HAND

7:35 PM
The hand outsmarted me.

7:46 PM
THE HAND

7:58 PM
The Hand no longer scares me. I am a pretty pansy. I will jump through the blackness and make it to the pretty white flag.

9:19 AM
Hand, you are horrifying no longer. Now you are just a nuisance. Get out of my goddamn way you evil bastard.

9:25 AM
Let's restart with the sound ON this time. *facepalm*

9:26 AM
Ooh, sweet little techno beat when I Evert. Nice.

9:29 AM
This techno beat is getting a bit unnerving...

9:33 AM
Wow. Uh...the music for the second Evert is kind of...creepy.

9:40 AM
NGH! This music makes the game so damn frustrating.

9:41 AM
We're at the Hand level, and I have the sound on. Boy oh boy.

9:41 AM
This music...oh no...

9:43 AM
OH FUCK THE HAND

9:43 AM
FUCK IT, I'M FINDING A NEW INNOCENT AND CREEPY GAME

Alice is Dead is by far the best series I've played. Better than Gretel and Hansel. Here's to another game!
"The End?"

I'm the only kid who can't wait to go back to school. This has happened twice now. Both times, I missed my friends and that one awesome teacher. OH, HOW CAN I GO ON UNTIL CHRISTMAS?! AND HOW CAN I GO ON AFTER CHRISTMAS? HOW CAN I MAKE IT TO NEW YEAR?! HOW CAN I WAIT THREE MORE DAYS?! *sob sob*

Explanation: ":D" This is Erty's rape face.

JabberWockyNG: Is nobody on here anymore?

Erty_W: @JabberWockyNG on where?

JabberWockyNG: @Erty_W On Twitter. I was getting very lonely.

JabberWockyNG: @JabberWockyNG @Erty_W OH FUCK I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT

Erty_W: @JabberWockyNG :D

JabberWockyNG: @Erty_W NOOOOOOO

giveupurwaffles: @Erty_W RAEP FAIC

JabberWockyNG: @giveupurwaffles @Erty_W DON'T FUCKING ENCOURAGE HIM!!

Erty_W: Rape list (because they encouraged me): @JabberWockyNG @giveupurwaffles

JabberWockyNG: @Erty_W AW HELL NAW

Erty_W: @JabberWockyNG :D

JabberWockyNG: @Erty_W *sob sob*

giveupurwaffles: @Erty_W @JabberWockyNG can I have the tape you two made?

Erty_W: @giveupurwaffles Sure, I send it when my friend is done wanking over it.

Mr. Webster was at school today! I got to bug him, make him read my comics, and he willingly introduced me to his sister. They look exactly alike, except she isn't a ginger. Also, they're not twins, they're about three to five years apart in age.
Creeeeeeeeepy.

I hope they keep it forever.

I need a little help from my friends!
</obscure reference>

Anyway, I need something to say to Mr. Webster tomorrow, because he's leaving for his cruise on Thursday.
Something funny that isn't a sex joke, black joke, Asian joke, or any particularly offensive ginger jokes.
Please. He's leaving on Thursday.
PLEASE HELP MEEEE

Also taking ideas for a card.

Hear me out, hear me out.

You know how Pride is the most serious of the seven deadly sins?
Christians take pride in their religion.
Christians hate/act horribly towards other religions(Wrath)
God is a sinner(5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God...) This counts as Envy.
Jesus was also a sinner(You shall not make for yourself an idol) This counts as Pride.
God is a sinner again(You shall not kill/murder) Bible verse: So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth.

I'm tired of studying a religion I despise and going to biased(in the Christian's favor) websites for my information, so I'll post more tomorrow. Let's see how many righteous douchebags try to give me shit for this.

u mad?